Rachel Campos-Duffy is trying to help people understand that motherhood is not an all or nothing proposition. Rather, she says, it's a balance, and one that families should be able to establish based upon their own dynamics and economic realities.

In her new book, Stay Home, Stay Happy: 10 Secrets to Loving At-Home Motherhood (Celebra Trade, 2009), Campos-Duffy says she's trying to help bring understanding and acceptance to the different experiences of the stay-at-home mom, even if it's just a part-time stay-at-home mom. "Families are way too dynamic and economics way too complicated to judge anyone else's decisions or to tell them the right and wrong way to do anything," says Campos-Duffy. "So much of the mommy wars are focused on what you should or shouldn't do. I think we'd be better off focusing on what we are doing right."

Campos-Duffy speaks from vast experience. The mom of five, with one on the way, juggles her job as a blogger, host, conservative pundit and author with mothering Evita, 10, Xavier (Jack), 8, Lucia-Belen, 5, John-Paul, 3, and Paloma, 18 months. Her sixth child is due in April 2010.

To the casual observer, it may seem as if Campos-Duffy is one of the lucky few reality show stars to parlay their 15 minutes into something more, but, in fact, Campos-Duffy has the academic credentials for the job she's doing.

Born in Tempe, Ariz., Campos-Duffy majored in economics with a minor in Spanish, but her grad school focus was international affairs. "I was planning to be a diplomat," says Campos-Duffy. "I grew up as a military kid and we lived abroad quite a bit and several of those posts were in capitals. I thought I'd like to spend my life like that."

In pursuit of what she thought was her dream, Campos-Duffy, who is Hispanic, was awarded a scholarship to increase the presence of minorities in public policy and international affairs. "As a part of that, I did an internship with the State Department in Venezuela," says Campos-Duffy. "It was a great thing because it made me realize this life was not what I wanted."

By that time, she had just shot the third season of The Real World: San Francisco, and she got hooked on the possibilities of being involved in the media. "I never thought about going into TV, but having that exposure made me realize that I could express myself in a national forum," says Campos-Duffy.

She went on to gigs co-hosting The View, competing against 20 other guest hosts to replace original co-host Debbie Matenopoulos, ultimately losing out to Lisa Ling. Several years later, when Ling left the show, Campos-Duffy competed again to become a permanent host. Instead, Elizabeth Hasselbeck was hired. It was not Campos-Duffy's first disappointment in life, but it was one that would focus her priorities and her path.

Campos-Duffy says that the second time she competed for a permanent host spot on The View, she thought she was a shoe-in. "I had no jitters and I was so certain that I would win," says Campos-Duffy. "I thought the Hispanic thing was huge and when I didn't get it I was shocked. But then it quickly came to me this was not meant to be and that I was already doing what I was supposed to be doing."

Her perception of herself changed, from thinking of herself as a television host between gigs, she realized that in reality she thought of herself as a stay-at-home mom who works part-time when she can. The ages of her children at the time are part of what led her to that revelation. "My oldest was just about to turn 5, and that's an age when you really start to see the fruits of your labor," says Campos-Duffy. "The combination of losing out again, seeing how wonderfully my children were maturing, and accepting whatever God's plan was for me was a spiritual and psychological awakening for me as to the importance of motherhood."

Campos-Duffy admits her life isn't always balanced. In addition to parenting their five children, she is helping with her husband's campaign for Congress in Wisconsin's seventh congressional district. She and Sean Duffy, who was a contestant on The Real World: Boston, met at a reunion of the show and have been married since 1999. But she says that's what her book is about: appreciating that you're doing your best and that's all you can do.

"There's too much mom guilt because things aren't perfect, but we need to take pleasure in our nurturing and the hard work we're doing to raise our kids and to be financially contributing members of our household as well," says Campos-Duffy. "It's OK to not get it all done every day, it's OK to not put everyone else first and to do what you need to do to make your life work."

What Campos-Duffy ultimately wants to accomplish is to get through this season of her life and look back on it fondly. She also wants her children to be able to look back and remember a time of happiness, not stress and worry that it wasn't all perfect. She hopes her book can help others accomplish that as well.

Read Rachel Campos-Duffy's tips for parents jugging parenting with working from home here.

Try Rachel Campos-Duffy's recipe for Easy Chicken Dumpling Soup!

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