Leeza Gibbons

TV Mom Explains Why It's OK Not to Have It All


It's a busy Friday afternoon. Leeza Gibbons is trying to wrap up a week of taping her Emmy award-winning talk show and producing her daily radio programs. Before she can head out of town the following day for a family vacation, she has to attend to a still-packed schedule. But she's more than happy to stop everything and sit down for a candid conversation about her favorite job: motherhood.

"I think it's an incredible sisterhood," says Gibbons. "And once you're in the club, it changes your life forever." Leeza

Gibbons joined "the club" with the birth of her daughter Lexi. Today, Gibbons and her husband, actor/architect Stephen Meadows, have their hands full with Lexi and her brothers, Troy and Nathan. But no matter how hectic life gets, Gibbons makes it clear that no Emmy award or star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame measures up to the joy and fulfillment she receives from being a mother.

But before you get any ideas about Leeza Gibbons fitting the old clichι (you know the one), she's quick to point out that she doesn't – can't – "have it all."

"Our mothers were wrong," she says. "You cannot have it all, at least not at the same time. There are times in my life which are rich in Mommy-time and my work suffers. No doubt. There have been lots of shows which I have done on little sleep, not being as prepared as I would like. But I'd make that choice every time. I'm a professional, some may even say 'a perfectionist,' but I chose to be a mother. And I'd rather let down a viewing audience than let down my children."

Balance?
Speaking of that elusive equilibrium that women everywhere aspire to achieve, Gibbons says it's merely a myth.

"Another one of those ideals which make us feel guilty if we don't have it," she says. "It's not that I'm against it, of course, it's just that on most days, it's pretty tough to accomplish."

Click here to get Leeza's tips, mom to mom.

But to the extent that it is possible to balance a talk show, radio program, production company and family, Gibbons has done an admirable job. At work, she created an on-site playroom and nursery for her youngest son; she asked for a later start to the day so she can drop her kids off at school; a midday break allows her to pick up her son from preschool; and a recording booth in her home lets her produce radio shows while her kids are sleeping. But she knows that unfortunately, most other moms don't have so much control over their work schedules.

"I think moms have to ask for what they need from their employers," she says. "I wish more corporations would recognize that we would be much more productive employees if we were given more flexibility and support. I will work extra hard after my children are asleep if I get to be with them when they need me."

A Working Woman
"I think – instinctively – being a woman in business is a tremendous advantage because we're intuitive, we're very nurturing, we know how to be a member of the team," Gibbons says. "But the thing we don't know how to do is sit at the big table and expect to be heard."

As more women inhabit the corporate offices of America, Gibbons sees the world responding to women's style of running the show. But when it comes to getting ahead in a business arena largely run by men, she admits that women still have a thing or two to learn.

"One of the negatives of our nature is – and I know I'm very guilty of this – I think we tend to say too much. Men understand sports and war and they know that there's a game plan and a strategy and they don't show their hand," she says. "We often give it up. And so I think we can't whine about not winning in the business world while we're still playing by some of their rules."

LeezaHer Piece of the Next Generation
After seven years of telling real people's stories on her talk show, Gibbons says she's learned that the biggest impact on the life of a person comes from parents. Those experiences have reaffirmed her sense of duty to her children – particularly with respect to her daughter. A strong supporter of Take Our Daughters to Work Day, the annual challenge of the Ms. Foundation to working mothers everywhere, Gibbons realizes the value of a strong female figure in her daughter's life.

"When my [daughter] sits down to do her homework, I sit down beside her and do my research and reading as well," she says. "She sees that it takes discipline and that learning is a life-long pursuit."

Through her show, Gibbons has met hundreds of young girls whose lives have lacked positive influence, and who have made poor decisions for themselves. That, she says, is because culture dictates that it's not important to listen to young girls. And Gibbons is teaching her daughter to speak up for herself.

"We [women] have learned so much from men and conversely, we've taught them so much, " she says. "But the one thing we've taken from their world is to ask for what we need and know that we deserve it. As a mother of a daughter, I think she's learning. I think she's getting it. At the risk of becoming a little diva, I think she's pretty good at saying what she needs."

A Matter of Priorities
For now, Gibbons has attained some semblance of balance, though she's quick to point out that the tug-of-war of work versus home rarely leaves either endeavor with equal amounts of her attention. But she says the moment she or her children suffer as a result of her demanding work life, there's no question about her next move.

"So far, it's working for our family. If it ever doesn't work, I'll stop. Simple as that. I've come dangerously close to stretching it to the limit," she says. "Oh, I can get it all done, it's just what kind of shape am I in when I get to the end of a particular marathon? If there is no time to enjoy the journey and share with those along the path, then what's the point?"

This interview was conducted in 2000. Gibbon's daughter Lexi is now 14, and brothers Troy and Nathan are 12 and 6.