Barbara Underhill found gliding and spinning across ice thrilling, and Olympic competition exhilarating. But what this Canadian world-champion pairs skater really wanted was a baby. Despite her promising career, Underhill packed away her skating dresses and soon grinned in surprise after learning she and her husband, Rick Gaetz, were expecting twins.

Underhill thought she'd never skate again professionally, which was OK, but just two months after giving birth to Samantha and Stephanie she squeezed her postpartum body into an ice-skating costume. Before her pregnancy, Underhill had promised 1988 Olympic bronze medallist Rob McCall that she would skate in a show to benefit AIDS victims. McCall died a year before the show, but Underhill was determined to fulfill her promise.

The night of the show, Underhill wiped her sweaty hands on her skating dress. As a new mom, could she do this? What if a baby cried and breastmilk drenched the front of her costume? Then the music started and she pushed off, easily gliding back into her smooth stride next to her partner, Paul Martini. "It was magic to be back on the ice," says Underhill. "It meant so much more now that skating wasn't the main thing in my life."

The performance awakened her competitive spirit, which melded easily with her new role of Mom. A re-born ice-princess, she took her twins and a nanny with her to competitions, winning again with Martini. Underhill loved sharing her triumphs with tiny Samantha and Stephanie, who grinned and waved at the cheering crowds. Underhill rushed to hug the babies after performances, thinking how good life was. But a tragic accident soon transformed her happiness into chilling despair.

Underhill's 8-month-old girls were playing at home in the baby-proofed family room when Stephanie somehow managed to open the screen door. She crawled outside, slipped through the pool gate – which was unlocked for just a few minutes to move a wheelbarrow – then fell into the pool and drowned.

"I didn't even know Stephanie could crawl," says Underhill. "It was so, so horrible. It felt like my heart and guts were ripped out. I went through the motions of normal life because Sam needed me, and this saved me in the beginning. I had to get up in the morning, love her, hug her."

Overwhelmed with grief, Underhill turned to an old friend – the ice. "Some days I'd cry so much I couldn't see the ice, or skate so hard it hurt," she says. Skating takes a lot of concentration, and it was like therapy. To Underhill's shock, she found herself smiling one day. "When something like this happens you either decide to shrivel up and die, or take part of your child with you and be stronger," she says.

Skating and the support of friends and family gave Underhill the strength to heal. "First in my heart is my family," Underhill says. She speaks of a deep, respectful love for her husband, Rick, her twins (Samantha is now 8), her sons, ages 1 and 6, and her 15-year-old stepdaughter. Underhill's proudest moment as a mom stemmed from a telephone conversation about her daughter, Samantha.

"Sam's third grade teacher called and said, 'Do you know what Sam's doing at recess?'" Underhill admitted that she didn't. The teacher said Sam had started a club during recess called The Helping Club. Sam looks for kids without anyone to play with at recess and finds them a friend or somehow helps them. "This made me feel so good!" Underhill says. "Sam is very compassionate. She really cares about people and tries to help others."

Just like her mom.

Underhill and her husband started the Stephanie Gaetz KEEPSAFE Foundation (ww.keepsafefoundation.com) in Stephanie's memory. KEEPSAFE is dedicated to reducing the incidence of childhood injury, the leading cause of childhood death in Canada. Underhill hopes the foundation will save other families from grief. "When we do something for others we feel good," she says.

When not busy with her family, KEEPSAFE, her Web site dedicated to helping young skaters, www.barbunderhill.com, or consulting with skaters and their coaches, Underhill gives motivational speeches. "I'm so nervous about this speech I'm giving soon for 1,200 people. Luckily, overcoming fears gives me so much personal power," she laughs.

After Underhill masters her stage fright, hearing her speak is like watching her on the ice again. She mesmerizes audiences with her powerful message of love and healing. A woman recently approached Underhill after a speech. She had undergone a double mastectomy for breast cancer and said Underhill's speech gave her the strength to go on. "I was so touched," says Underhill. "If I can help even one person and save even one life I have to keep speaking, even though it's hard. I want people to know that sometimes we gain the greatest strength and courage from the worst things."

Not surprisingly, ice-skating is a favorite Underhill/Gaetz activity, and the family often heads to a pond next door for skating and ice-hockey. "Kids need to play – adults, too." says Underhill. "When things seem bad, let everything go and do something fun for a half-hour. Things will look better after that."

Underhill was lucky enough to embrace skating when she was only 5 years old, and it took her around the world, providing happy memories to share with her family. "Encourage your child's dreams," she says. "Practicing what they're good at gives them self-confidence, which spills over positively into other aspects of their lives." Besides skating, Underhill's family likes to find animal tracks outside and enjoy nature. Last Fall the family searched for the perfect year 2000 Canadian maple leaf. They returned home, triumphant, to press their finds in a book. Underhill's family also likes to ski. "Skiing is so much like skating sometimes," she says. "When you hit an edge it's exhilarating."

Gaetz and Underhill sometimes dine out alone. "It's hard to find time without the kids, but it's so important for parents to spend time together that we try to do it," she says. Her marriage is built on mutual respect and making the other partner feel good. Skating and running re-energize Underhill. "I ran before this interview, and it's hectic finding time to exercise, but it makes me a better mom," she says. "I love to run. It keeps me alive inside and it's what my body and soul need."

Due to Stephanie's death, Underhill has, perhaps, examined her soul more than others. She encourages all mothers to look inside and go for the gold.

This interview was conducted in 2000. Underhill's twins, Samantha and Stephanie, were born on September 15, 1992.