I recently had the rare opportunity of running into actress, author and funny lady Jenny McCarthy. No, it wasn't on the Hollywood red carpet arm-and-arm with her leading man, Jim Carrey. And no, it wasn't at a book signing for her most recent book Louder Than Words: A Mother's Journey to Healing Autism (Plume, 2008). Surprisingly, it was at an exhibit booth at the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association's (ASHA) National Convention where I had the chance to talk to McCarthy about her Teach2Talk program and the challenges and joys of raising a child with autism.

IP: I first met you at ASHA's National Convention with Sarah Scheflen, your son, Evan's, speech-language pathologist. Why did you attend the convention?

JM: I attended the convention with Sarah so that we could educate all the speech therapists out there about Teach2Talk, which is the new company in which I've partnered with Sarah to produce awesome educational resources for children. I've been on the road a TON the last year, after my book Louder Than Words was released, trying to reach and speak to as many other parents of children with autism as possible. So it made sense to swing on by ASHA's national convention as part of my tour – we wanted to get the word out to all the therapists that there's some new tools we've come out with which can be really helpful for their clients.

IP: You are co-founder of Teach2Talk with Sarah. How did you get involved in the development of Teach2Talk?

JM: When Evan was first diagnosed, I went into protective mama bear mode, and was running around like a chicken with my head cut off, trying to find out everything and anything about autism and what I could do to help my son (Google was my new best friend – it doesn't have the answers, necessarily, but it sure can point you to the people who do have them). One of the things that bugged me at the time was how few parent-friendly resources there were out there for parents of kids on the spectrum. Later on, when Sarah was working with Evan, she showed me how effective video modeling can be as a teaching tool. It helped Evan out a LOT, both with some really important big things (like play – play, play, play, so important!) and also some very specific problems (you may have seen on Oprah one of our first attempts, which was a quick video Sarah and I did in about five minutes, but taught Evan in LITERALLY ONE VIEWING how to play catch the right way, which I had been trying to teach him for months). I was like, THIS STUFF ROCKS, why the hell can't I go buy more of these at Target, covering all kinds of good stuff? Sarah said no one else was doing it so I said WE SHOULD! We started up last summer and have been cranking away ever since, and it's been great hearing from all the families of the kids we've been able to help.

IP: In your opinion, what is the best part about being a mom?

JM: Learning what unconditional love really means.

IP: What is the hardest part about being a mom?

JM: Seeing my kid sick. Deathly ill. Seizing. Nothing was worse than watching Evan in so much pain, thinking I might lose him and feeling so utterly helpless.

IP: Does Evan attend any school programs, therapies and/or play groups?

JM: Evan attends a "typical" school with "typical" kids. He no longer qualifies for any services from the state, which is both a blessing and a curse, and has lost his autism diagnosis – to this day I get people trying to tell me he wasn't properly diagnosed, to which I say YOU WEREN'T THERE. I still keep Sarah, his private therapist, on board to work on some higher level things like his organization of sentences and auditory processing. He has play dates with "typical" kids and he requires no facilitation.

IP: How do you manage all aspects of your career while raising Evan as a single mom?

JM: Unfortunately, I have to travel a lot. That would be enough of a pain if it weren't for Evan. To manage, I try to take Evan with me as much as possible! I really couldn't do it otherwise, since my schedule requires me to be all over the place (in addition to my career, I've been on the road for a lot of this past year reaching out to other moms and dads of kids with autism). It's not always possible of course, and it's heartbreaking to have to leave him even for a day or two. I'm very fortunate to have a great support system in place, and Jim and my family help out a lot.

IP: In your book, you describe that Evan has benefited from a gluten-, casein- and wheat-free diet. Do you follow the same diet? If yes, what changes have you seen in yourself on this diet?

JM: I try to follow the diet. When I do follow the diet I feel so much better – the best way to put it is that I feel more aware and clear. I think there are a lot of people out there who have gluten and casein sensitivities, including a lot of kids, that the diet can help. And the great thing about it is that it's not going to hurt – worst case scenario, it just won't do much for you other than probably give you a little bit better-balanced diet. I think one thing that people do wrong is to give up on it too quickly – I know it can be a pain, especially with kids that are picky eaters, but STICK WITH IT.

IP: How do you manage sticking with this diet for Evan at birthday parties and restaurants?

JM: I pack his lunch! Evan has been on the diet since he was really young, so he is used to having his own lunch – it's really the norm for him. It makes it easier because he doesn't get bummed out about not getting a cupcake or a slice of cake or whatever. And everyone is super nice and accommodating about it, especially if I explain that he has to be on this special diet. Actually, you'd be surprised how often places actually are aware of GFCF and can accommodate it easily. Disney, for example, is really great about it.

IP: Do you cook? Do you have any good gluten-, casein- and wheat-free recipes?

JM: Whole Foods ... Sorry, I'm not much of a cook.

IP: What suggestions do you have for other moms who are considering diet changes for their family?

JM: Moms – you have to do it! It has made such a difference in Evan. Evan had limited language before this diet, and when I put him on it his language doubled. He wasn't receiving any other services at this time, so it was obvious it was the diet. And hundreds of other moms around the country have told me the amazing difference it has made in their children's lives as well. Again, I think the key is that you have to stick with it – until you see it start paying off, when it makes it a lot easier all of a sudden. The initial transition can be a little rough, but your kid's eventually going to get hungry. After a while, they won't even ask for the bad stuff. I think often the bigger challenge is getting the rest of the family to buy off on it, but if you explain that you're doing this to help your son/daughter/brother/sister, it can help.

IP: Why have you shared your personal life about your son to the public?

JM: I want parents to understand that there is hope out there! If that means I have to go out there in the public eye with this very personal stuff, then so be it. I feel like I have a mandate and a mission from and behalf of all the other moms out there who have shared their pain and remarkable stories with me.

IP: Since you have shared your story, you seem to have become an autism spokesperson. How do you feel about this responsibility?

JM: It's hard. I've traveled to tons of states and have moms crying on my shoulder and telling me a story that is similar to mine. I want to give hope to families out there and let them know what I did that helped Evan so that they can help their kids too. There is so much out there that is ignored or scorned by our current medical powers to be – if I can use my big mouth to spread the word and help some families, then I feel like I'm really giving back.

IP: As a mother, author and actor you must be pulled in many directions. Whom do you rely on for support?

JM: Jim is a rock. He's really made all this possible by being someone who can be at the center of my life that I can lean on, no matter how hard times get, and at a time when I didn't know whether I'd ever be attractive to another man or able to have a real relationship with one. And my family is great too; they are always there for me.

IP: I love the part in your book when you talk about a photo shoot that you were at in a bikini and your mind was totally on getting to an important appointment for Evan. How hard was it to be the "sexy woman" when you were actually the "worried mommy"?

JM: OMG. So hard. Evan was the ONLY thing on my mind. I was panicking the whole time, almost hyperventilating because I was so worried about being apart from him and him going into a seizure, but I'm expected to be a dripping sex appeal at this shoot. I really don't know how I managed to pull it off; I guess the photographers are just that good.

IP: How do you keep in such great shape?

JM: Running around chasing my child!

IP: In your book, you talked about the divorce rate among parents of autistic children. From your own experience, what could you share with other parents who may be facing these same conflicts?

JM: That's a tough one. I think it really depends on your man. If they're not willing to suck it up and get down in the trenches with you, it's going to be tough. But if they are willing to put aside some things and work with you hand in hand, you've got a chance. Either you're in or you're out. Even if you're both in, I think you have to try really hard to find some time for each other. That's going to be next to impossible at first, but you have to try to not let this new thing swallow your whole existence.

IP: What would you tell other single mothers about taking a chance on a relationship even in the middle of life's little bumps and bruises?

JM: Even though your first priority is always your child, you need to try to make time for yourself sometimes. Your life is NOT OVER just because you're now a single mom! No part of your life is over (OK, maybe spur-of-the-moment road trips). Look, some parts of it (hello, dating) are just going to be a little harder to manage then before. So, by all means, don't get discouraged and keep an open mind. I know I'm glad I did!

IP: You know the old saying, "If you knew then what you know now?" What would you have done differently that you could share with parents who have concerns about their own children?

JM: Trust your mommy instincts. Don't let your pediatrician or others beat you up and treat you like you're hysterical, and don't be a passive consumer of medicine that relies on doctors to give you all the answers. Stand up for yourself and take responsibility and an active part in your children's health.

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want to see more?
Special Toys for Special Toddlers: Finding the Right Toys for Toddlers with Autism, Hearing and Other Developmental Issues
One-track Minds: Is Your Toddler's Obsession a Sign of Autism?
An Attack on Autism: Early Diagnosis, Genetics and Intervention
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