Internet star, host, supermodel, playmate, RESOLVE spokesperson. It's like playing that old Sesame Street song,

"One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong..."

But Cindy Margolis is all of those things. And now, after a long struggle with infertility, she can add mother to the list.

In the book she is currently writing on the subject, she remembers one particularly difficult evening while trying to conceive:

"I'm in the ladies room of the Beverly Hills Hotel for what I think must be the fifteenth time this evening. The fifth time in just the past hour. So what's that ... every 12 minutes now I'm checking to see if I'm getting my period? I must be going nuts. No, I must be there already and I'm the only person who doesn't know it. It's for sure our dinner partners know it! The look on their faces when I excused myself this last time pretty much cinched the fact that Guy and I won't be on their 'A' list for any future dinner plans. Yeah, I'm Cindy Margolis. The Most Downloaded Woman. But tonight ... and for so many nights now, I'm just one in the estimated 9.3 million other women each year who is also trying so desperately to have a child."

Though her journey was successful, Margolis' trip was so stressful and heartbreaking she decided to become the spokesperson for RESOLVE, the national fertility association. "Struggling with infertility is so very hard physically, emotionally and financially," she says. "It is devastating how insurance companies don't fully fund fertility procedures nor help with surrogacy or adoption. My passion for infertility awareness, education and support is very powerful."

Margolis' struggle with fertility began when she met and married the man of her dreams, restaurant owner Guy Starkman. "I knew he would be an amazing father," Margolis says. "He was compassionate, kind, had more patience and was more tolerant of others than anyone else that I have ever met in my life. We wanted to start a family right away and prayed we would conceive on our honeymoon. I would have been thrilled if I came back with morning sickness. But unfortunately, that was the beginning of month after frustrating month of getting our hopes up that we would get pregnant only to be sadly disappointed."

Looking back, Margolis says she always had a sixth sense that getting pregnant wouldn't be easy for her. During her 20s, when so many of her girlfriends went through major pregnancy scares, she never did. She said it was amazing because she had a serious boyfriend, and while they practiced safe sex most of the time, there were many times when they did not. She wasn't overly surprised when it didn't happen for her and Guy right away, but then it didn't happen for months – and then over a year.

"With every negative pregnancy test, I became more and more depressed," Margolis says. "I thought I was being punished for my past mistakes. I had so many crazy thoughts running through my head all the time. I became very superstitious and religious. I set up a baby shrine by my bed with a collage of baby pictures. I wrote letters to my unborn baby. I lit fertility candles, saw a physic, a healer and had my stomach blessed by a Rabbi. When that didn't work, I was convinced it was because God saw through me. I had never prayed in Temple before, and therefore God must see my intentions as being insincere. I was being punished again."

To the outside world it looked like Margolis had it all: a successful career, a handsome husband and millions of fans. But inside, her self-esteem was incredibly low. She remembers feeling like the biggest failure and was convinced her husband was going to leave her for a woman who could give him children. "My life was a mess, and the stress only intensified with every negative pregnancy test thereafter," she says. "Guy wanted to be there for me but he felt helpless. What could he do?"

After she turned 35, Margolis and her husband decided to become proactive and sought help. Their journey took them to her gynecologist, where Margolis poured her heart out and asked for a recommendation to someone – anyone – who could help her get pregnant. Margolis felt a mix of excitement and fear as she contemplated going to a fertility specialist. What if the doctor said they couldn't have children? What if she had waited too long or was too old or there was something wrong with her insides?

"In a lot of ways, it's like going to an AA meeting; you can't get the help you need until you admit you have a problem," Margolis says. "So I said it out loud for the first time to the receptionist as I booked the appointment: 'I think I need to see someone. I can't get pregnant.'"

The doctor told her that she and her husband would have to decide if they wanted to continue to try naturally or if they wanted to take a more aggressive approach. They decided to be aggressive. After testing, they were told that their problem was unexplained infertility. Margolis was crushed. She felt it would have been easier if they had a fixable problem. The couple decided to undergo artificial insemination and then, finally, in vitro fertilization (IVF). Her pain intensified as none of these procedures worked.

"I was at the fertility specialists, doing everything that was asked of me, so why wasn't I pregnant?" Margolis says. "Everyone else was. I felt like the whole world was having babies while I was struggling to get pregnant. It was not only heartbreaking, it was unfair. I tried to be happy for my friends who were pregnant, but it was so hard to be. Every woman who has gone through infertility feels and has felt the same way. I felt like I was all alone."

Her doctors decided upon an innovative, aggressive combination procedure to boost the chance of pregnancy. IVF was combined with gamete intra-fallopian transfer (GIFT), a procedure that transfers the egg and sperm into the woman's fallopian tubes for fertilization.

"The test was scheduled on my birthday, and I knew this would either be the worst birthday of my life or the best," Margolis says. "I went to the hospital and gave blood for the test, but I didn't want to stay for the results. As Guy and I were leaving we heard happy screaming and turned back to find my doctor and the clinic staff surging out to congratulate us. We were so happy to finally be pregnant. It was truly amazing. There are no words to describe the joyous feeling!"

Margolis's quest for fertility had ended, and her journey into motherhood began. After a problematic pregnancy, she gave birth to Nicholas Isaac, a healthy baby boy. "He was indeed our little personal miracle, our very own glimpse of heaven wrapped up in a little blue receiving blanket," Margolis says. "He was beautiful, and becoming his parents that afternoon in June was the greatest achievement and most humbling experience Guy and I have ever known! We thank God every day for our precious Nicholas, and as we watch him grow, we realize all over again how truly blessed we are to have him in our lives."

Since that time, Margolis and her husband have added more children to their family, twin girls, Sierra and Sabrina, born by a surrogate mother. "Honestly, did we ever think our perfect family would be conceived by IVF and a surrogate mother? No, of course not" Margolis says. "But that doesn't take away from the fact that it is still perfect."

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